As if our brains magically emerged from a billion years of evolution with complex mechanisms that did not help us survive... :)
I tried (like a good nerd) to reverse engineer all our emotions in my book "The Psychopath Code." Loneliness fell into my group of "Tribal Emotions" (thus evolved to help us form extended families), and here is how I defined it:
"Loneliness - the emotion of being disconnected. You feel physical pain in your intestines and chest when you see others enjoying themselves. You sleep lightly and wake often. Your immune system starts to slow and you start to get sick. Your metabolism slows down, yet you eat more often than usual. Your circulation slows, and you feel cold."
Indeed, a very interesting read! Can you list references or is this all original research?
About the rule breakers and psychopaths - I think most people actually switch to reward/punishment reasoning for rule following when empathy and social feedback is lacking. For example, if you know that no one will get hurt (eg running a red light with no cars around) the reasoning switches primarily to risk/reward (are there cameras or cops?) and habits (mental shortcuts and pathways that have been reinforced).
Most of our decisions are made out of habits trained on common situations, and only when the underlying assumptions are violated do we start re-evaluating the stories and heuristics we tell ourselves for our actions.
I'm sorry to say it's mostly original research, though I did do a lot of research into the studies people have done on the various emotions and particularly their physical manifestations. I did not keep references because I was lazy and generally don't do that (this is not academic work and I absolutely want to keep it readable for non-academics).
Regarding rules, I suspect we apply different sets of rules in different situations. Running a red light breaks "would the cops catch me?" yet does not break "would my friends be angry with me?"
I've not looked into habits much. They are obviously powerful shortcuts that save on cognitive workload.
I have spent a good part of my morning reading some of your material. Particularly some of your blog articles on hintjens.com. I am very glad I was able to find your content. It is thought provoking to say the least. I hope I will be able to find more content from you in the future. Good luck and thank you.
>Loneliness - the emotion of being disconnected. You feel physical pain in your intestines and chest when you see others enjoying themselves. You sleep lightly and wake often. Your immune system starts to slow and you start to get sick. Your metabolism slows down, yet you eat more often than usual. Your circulation slows, and you feel cold.
Is it some sort of a hyperbole or I really have to hate people and be physically sick to qualify as a lonely person according to psychiatrists?
That's that, but I'd imagine that "feeling physical pain seeing others enjoying themselves" is something far more serious than just loneliness, maybe I misunderstand the term.
You rise a valid point though, while often being objectively lonely and "disconnected" I seldom felt discomfort about it. That would explain good health marks.
I took his "feel physical pain in your intestines and chest" to mean, in part, that "sinking feeling in the gut" which is due mainly to the stimulation of the Vagus Nerve[1].
These physical sensations follow the emotion (of loneliness) itself--an affective experience preceding, and triggering, the physical after-effects--which PieterH did not speak much about. I wonder why.
It is hyperbole, average people can cope with being disconnected from society.
Some people who are lonely and develop these symptoms are better explained as reaction from DPD
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dependent_personality_disorder
In evolutionary terms, a lone hunter/traveler that becomes a shriveling ball of tears when completely alone doesn't pass the survival threshold: people are not evolved to die from being alone.
Besides in the modern world, you're not "really alone" unless you live off-grid in some remote wilderness with no internet/phone/radio. Disconnecting from society is far harder than what people think of it(not using mobile devices 24/7 on your person is not "disconnection")
Agreed, the secondary characteristics feel somewhat circumstantial to me.
I'm lonely, but sleep a solid 8 hours (except if bothered by other factors such as mismanagement of heat etc which will wake me up). I don't get sick, eat a normal amount and don't feel colder than usual.
That text does not mention hate, and the physical pain I'm referring to is mostly low level discomfort. It can still drive some people to extreme behaviour.
I tried (like a good nerd) to reverse engineer all our emotions in my book "The Psychopath Code." Loneliness fell into my group of "Tribal Emotions" (thus evolved to help us form extended families), and here is how I defined it:
"Loneliness - the emotion of being disconnected. You feel physical pain in your intestines and chest when you see others enjoying themselves. You sleep lightly and wake often. Your immune system starts to slow and you start to get sick. Your metabolism slows down, yet you eat more often than usual. Your circulation slows, and you feel cold."
http://content.psychopathcode.com/chapter6.html