Technology is still not there yet. There's no scaling solution anywhere in sight.
These valuations are for a product that does not exist.
If scaling miraculously comes then the price might hold, otherwise the transaction fees will grow up to a point that most small investors won't be able to make that 2nd layer entry transaction and will be stuck on the expensive 1st layer.
There are currently 3 implementations by different teams being tested, all compatible with each-other and open-source.
No, it's not production ready, there are still plenty of bugs and missing features but it's close and you can go test it right now on testnet if you want to.
You're shifting the goal-posts, there is working software and it's clearly not "hand-waving bullshit". It needs testing (which you can help with, it's all open) and improvements but it's definitely not vapor-ware.
There's no such thing as a free lunch in distributed system design! If IOTA had solved for scalability without sacrificing other attributes, the technology would probably be integrated into other coins very quickly.
