very sorry for your loss. i've been similar in Seattle and it was tremendously alienating. I left as soon as I could. Obviously not a seattle-only thing but I think Seattle is so full of picture perfect couples (working 9-5, big tech/big tech adjacent, dog, 1.5 kids) and gloomy weather that it is the perfect combo of depression fuel for anyone that doesn't fit that mould. the only social activity is beer. so you aren't just lonely but you also get drunk and fat (and probably shave your head bald and grow a beard but thats more portland spilling over).